Merry Christmas

to anyone who finds their way here. Appreciate the day, think of it as an opportunity to give and let others give, and an opportunity to prepare for a new year.

(Yarrow/Henry)
And the wisemen spoke of peace on earth,
Of harmony and struggle
Know you now a cycle's gone and a new one is revealed.
In the weaving of your fingers
In the whisper of a love that's born again
In the weaving of your fingers
In a promise that we made that never ends.

Well now each man is a pilgrim,
Yes, we all must make the journey
And it seems that time is telling us to be all that we can
To help lift up the fallen, we must sow the seeds of goodness
The torch is passed among us now to light the way of man.

For the heart of man's a palace
And his dreams are as the sunlight
They burn away the darkness, as they warm the freezing cold
As an eagle flying higher, as a river through the canyon
The diamond star shines down upon, a pathway to the soul

Someday Syndrome

I'm really loving the Someday Syndrome, a great blog that is not filled with tips and hacks, but with motivating and empowering advice and empathy.

This post is great, an interview with Naomi Dunford, who has made a successful new life for herself. As a snippet, here's a great little bit of dialogue she had with her Mother when she was at rock bottom.

My mom: First, make yourself a cup of tea. Things are better with tea.

Me: I can’t make tea.

My mom: Why not?

Me: Because I’m in a ball on the bathroom floor.

My mom: Well then, the first step is to get off the floor.

Indeed. The first step is to get off the floor. Literally in this case, metaphorically in everyone else's.

Yesterday was a challenge

Concorse A
Originally uploaded by k.l.macke

It was a challenge yesterday....

I dropped my son off at the airport with his mother so they could go to Florida for the next 10 days.

Suffice it to say that as I watched them walk into the airport terminal, my heart did a little flutter.

The fact that it was 6:45 on a Sunday morning, I was half-asleep and had a death-defying drive home probably helped take my mind off it.

It is the first Christmas morning I will not be with my son.

I am determined to keep my emotions in the sweet spot...missing him, as appropriate, but not feeling sorry for myself or wallowing in self-pity.

It is what it is. Being miserable isn't going to help. I have some projects planned, including:

• Some nice cooking only I will eat. (Last night I made spaghetti Carbonara that was awesome).
• A photo book project that will force me out of the house.
• My 2009 planning and goal setting.
• At least one date.
• Christmas with my Mother, but resisting her invitations to spend more time there.
• Some other writing.
• Some nice cocktails for myself, but to enjoy, not wallow.
• And, of course, it is bowl season, so lots of football to watch.

We'll see how it goes. One day at a time. The climb continues.

Reading

I am an avid reader. And, last New Year's, in my Winter of Cncertainty, I decided that for 2009 (the self-declared "Year of Me" I was going to read more. I was going to read 25 books during 2008.

OK, so I didn't make it. But I did read 23 books.

Along the way, I learned:

1. The lives of Caravaggio, Steve Jobs, Joe Nuxhall, Buddy Cianci
2. What would happen if people disappeared from the earth
3. How people are trying to invent the next car.
4. A great political satire about George Bush
5. The role Ohioans played in the Civil War written by a man I know
6. Growing up in the mafia
7. The latest baseball insights from Bill James
8. The latest thriller from John Sandford, signed by the author
9. Bonfire of Vanities
10. How randomness enters into our life
11. How people innovate
12. The incredibly divisive era of Vietnam and the Civil Rights movement
13. How Tony LaRussa thinks
14. The nuremberg trials
15. How the survey of the northwest territory changed the country
16. A hilarious first person tale of following self help gurus
17. The latest wisdom of Malcom Gladwell
18. The historic 1912 election
19. A hypnotic account of a man who tracks Falcons across continents

What a great way to tour the whole world.

And if I didn't have the goal of reading 25, I wouldn't have read 23.

It's Creeping back

This strong feel of depression and anxiety. It has found its way back. I am feeling increasingly bogged down. What's going on? Relationship problems, macro-fear over the economy, unsettled feelings for Christmas.

So, I guess after slowing climbing the first stages of Everest, I've reached the first sheer rock face that I have to actually climb. Forward momentum isn't enough. This will require special effort.

Is Happiness Contagious

According to this Harvard study, it is. If this is true, I'm going to have to talk to my neighbor, who thinks he is Eminem and calls me "Dawg."

It would be something like.....

"Dude. You are bringing me down. Make me happy."

Why Not Me? Why Not Now?

• Want to be happy?
• Stop worrying?
• Stop avoiding?
• Stop dreading?
  
• Take command?
• Take action?
• Achieve your dreams?
• Live an enriching life?
  
• Be at peace with your work?
• Keep home a happy place?
• Stop living for other people?

Why not me? Why not now?